2 Steps forward, 1 Step Back.

Things were moving so smoothly!  Some might say..too smoothly.  Well, I hit a bump on Friday that left me sitting at my desk at school, crying my eyes out, during my lunch break.    My adoption case-worker (Ms. OConnor) is only in the Montego Bay office on Wednesdays.  So, I began trying to reach her during any break I could find during the day to get an update.  I finally reached her on Friday at another office.   She quickly informed me that little man is not available for adoption right now, and that I am NOT allowed to identify the child I would like to adopt myself.    Okay...I know you are asking...what does that mean??  Well, it means that although he has been in the care of the government since he was at least 6 months old, that they have never gotten the family to legally terminate rights.  CRAZY!!  He has been abandoned for 2.5 years and the parents still have to be located and rights have to be terminated.   What is even more frustrating, the name of his parents are in his file and the area where they were living is less than an hour away from their office???  AAAHHH!!    The birth certificate also appears to missing, however, we also know the hospital in which he was born.   So....as much as I would love to fly down there and take-over...I just can't!!   It is out of my control and I HAVE to let God take care of it.

So, where does that leave me today?   I have decided to take a few steps back and get myself back into the place of peace that I was in before I went to Jamaica.  I want the child that God has for me.  Not the one that I pick out for myself.   God is completely in control and knows who and when the timing is right!   I have to stop staring at his picture everyday and prepare my heart for the phone call telling me they have a son for me!!  I am anxiously awaiting that day and will love him with all of my heart.

On a sweet note, my students came back from lunch to see me in pieces.  I quickly scurried to the restroom to get myself together.  Several of my girls followed me in and hugged me from all sides.  So precious!  One of them went and told several other teachers to check on me.   They are really such loving kids and I am blessed to have them in my life!

Please keep praying and I will keep you posted!
Cindy